Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Im part way to drunk.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
