It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We are two peas in an std pod
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
