We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
