the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
