Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My feet surprised me
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