Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
