Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
