Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Terrible idea I love it
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
