In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
