Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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