i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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