U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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