I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
