she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
