is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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