I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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