So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
