You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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