so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
