D3 body, D1 cock
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
