He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
smell my finger.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
