I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize