WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
