I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
