I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
