lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
