Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
