i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
