I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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