I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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