I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
even my farts smell like vagina
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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