Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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