Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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