I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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