you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
