I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
