I CAN MOONWALK!
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
