He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
