Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
