Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I wish i was in the wii world.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
