I wish I could teleport
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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