i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
