She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
