talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
