just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
