everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
