She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
God, I missed his penis.
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