All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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