dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
