The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
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